I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
