u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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