I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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