I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
