i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
