new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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