So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Randomize
