did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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