i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
