well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
