If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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