At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
