he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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