I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
