And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
