and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
