I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
