i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
