Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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