if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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