party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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