Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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