i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just high enough for therapy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
