thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
