Soap is not a condiment
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
