i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
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I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
