you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize