Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
