wrigley field is MILF paradise
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
