I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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