I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
