i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
