Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
