i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
