she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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