batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
