I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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