went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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