dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
