Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
