I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
