Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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