Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
