Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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