There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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