Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
