I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
