Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
