dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
