ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
