so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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