also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
