Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
