funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
