If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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