that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
