I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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