I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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