maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
