Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
